Dancing With the Stars 8: "I Wanna Put My Foot in the Waltz's Butt"

Hey y'all! The season premiere of Dancing With the Stars 8 was a good one. There were the expected bad dances, the expected good dances, and even the unexpected good ones. This is a non-elimination week and the scores earned along with the vote counts will carry over to next week. A new twist have the bottom two couples doing a dance off to get the judges to change their scores. As everyone knows, two female celebrities dropped out of the competition last week, Jewel and Nancy O'Dell. For the intros only 11 couples came out and we were told that we'd find out the replacements later.

The first couple to dance this week was Lil Kim / Derek. In their little pre-dance blurb we learned that Lil Kim became a fan while she was in prison and that she was dedicating this first dance to all her girls in the Federal Detention Center. Alrighty then ... She also made a remark that she's gonna be Black Barbie to Derek's Ken. Okay, so I didn't really have an open mind about her to begin with, and this really didn't help. So, for their dance, they did a Cha-cha to Nasty Boys. Uh, yeah. So I guess they're going to cater to the hip hop crowd with her this season. The dance really wasn't that bad, for what it was. The judges seemed to like it, giving her three 7's for a score of 21.

Next up was Belinda / Jonathan. She's our token older lady this season. They had a decent waltz. She was kind of stiff, but I think it was nerves. I loved that she was actually singing the words to the song as she danced. The judges didn't like it nearly as much as I did with Bruno being particularly brutal saying that she started off like Julie Andrews and it turned into Cloris. I didn't see that at all. Carrie Ann told her that it wasn't great, but it definitely wasn't Cloris. She also gave her some good advice, to trust Jonathan and to let him lead. She received two 6's and a 5 for a score of 17.

Lawrence (LT) / Edyta came out next. I used to have such the crush on this man ... sigh. Unfortunately, he looks like he will be the one to break the streak of football players doing well and going far. Emmitt, Jason and Warren he is not on the dance floor. I was quite disappointed. He was so worried about looking like a fool, that he didn't enjoy himself and it showed. This Cha-cha was pretty bad. The judges pretty much agreed with me, but gave him some useful advice for next week. They gave him a 6 and two 5's for a score of 16.

This next couple surprised me. My original predictions had Steve-O being one of the first to go, but maybe not. The Steve-O / Lacey combo make a good team. He's got a rough row to hoe, though. He's balancing DWTS with rehab and he said that this week, "I wanna put my foot in the Waltz's butt". I really enjoyed their Waltz, it was fun to watch. Not perfect, by any means, but very entertaining. I was impressed at how seriously he is taking this. The judges, however, didn't like it as much as I did. Len admitted that he expected much worse, Bruno called it a big pile of slapstick, but fun. Both he and Carrie Ann told him that he needed to work on his technique. They gave him two 6's and a 5 for a score of 17.

I have no clue who this Gilles guy is, but they called him the "Sexy Naked Neighbor". Uh yeah, he IS sexy and the Cha-Cha that he and Cheryl did was HOT. The judges agreed complimenting him for pulling it off and Cheryl for the choreography. He probably has the smallest fanbase, so he's gonna have a hard time staying in this thing, but if it was based on performance alone, Cheryl could possibly be on her way to her third trophy. The judges gave them three 8's for a score of 24.

The real life couple, Chuck / Julianne, were next. They are gonna ram this real life couple thing down our throats until we puke. I was already rolling my eyes at them before they even hit the dance floor. In spite of myself, however, I kind of liked their Waltz. It wasn't my favorite, and she has some work to do to get him up to championship status. The judges thought that it had good spots, but that it was also hectic at times. Bruno said that it looked like he was chasing her at times, and the Lift Police (Carrie Ann) said she caught a lift. They got two 7's and a 6 for a score of 20.

Next we had our first replacement dancer. Tom introduced Holly Madison as Jewel's replacement. They made sure to let us know that she had been on the cover of Playboy 4 times ... whatever. She only had one week to prepare this Cha-Cha with new pro Dmitry Chaplin from So You Think You Can Dance, and it looked it. I didn't like it at all ... all flash, no substance. All she did was shake her fake boobs and her butt. The judges liked it better than I did with only Bruno honestly critiquing her by telling her that she lost the timing quite a few times. The judges gave her three 6's for a score of 18.

Ty was up next with his partner, new pro Chelsie Hightower, also from SYTYCD. She is just cute as a button and may give Julianne a run for her money for the cute little bubbly blonde role. Poor Ty, though. I think he just did this for his wife, Jewel, and now she's out. He looked so awkward and uncomfortable with this cha-cha. This man has no rhythm. The judges, other than Bruno, struggled to find something kind to say. Bruno said it looked more like an army drill than a cha-cha. The scores were also brutal, two 5's and a 4 for a total of 14.

The next couple is one that I was waiting for. Shawn Johnson / Mark Ballas did a very pretty waltz. When they showed the practice clips, I was a bit worried because she came across as very young and immature. Gotta remember that she is a very sheltered 17 yr old. While it was a pretty waltz, you could see her gymnastics with some of the awkward arm movements. She had a tendency to throw her arms out there instead of letting them flow. The judges agreed and enjoyed this performance with Carrie Ann almost in tears. Bruno and Len both commented on the gymnastic arm thing, but were very impressed. She got two 8's and a 7 for a score of 23.

Then came another cringe moment. Steve Woz is a typical nerd. This co-founder of Apple Computers even came out to his 1st meeting with his pro on a Segway. He's really sweet and a big teddy bear. He said that he just wants to prove that nerds can dance. I have only two words to describe his and Karina's Cha-Cha ... oh my. Len said that the good news was that it held his attention, but it was a disaster. Bruno called him a teletubby gone mad and Carrie Ann siad that he was what the show was about, taking the celebrities out of their comfort zones and doing something new. The judges gave them two 4's and a 5 for a score of 13.

I had no expectations for the next couple. In fact, I had them pegged as early exits, too. David Alan Grier is another comedian that I don't find particularly funny and I didn't know if he'd take this seriously. He started off on the wrong foot trying to joke with poor Kym Johnson, who didn't get his jokes at all and didn't know how to take him. They did a Waltz to one of the worst renditions of "You Light Up My Life" that I've ever heard. And it wasn't half bad. You know I'd forgotten that he'd worked with Carrie Ann, when she was a Fly Girl on "In Living Color" and she warned him to be careful with his facial expressions while he danced, they could be distracting. Bruno also commented on his face and said that with his face he was 4 or 5 different characters in that one dance. Len said that it was more good than bad, lol, but that his bum sticks out when he dances. This couple received two 6's and a 7 for a score of 19.

My Maks was up next with his partner Denise Richards. I don't know what to make of her. Something about her bugs me, but I can't root against her because I wanna watch Maks. What a conundrum. Whoa, this chick may not last long though. Maks had her in tears already! We all know it takes a strong woman to deal with Maks, and that's usually who they give him. Either they screwed up, or she's stronger than she's coming across. Their Cha-Cha was just okay. I didn't really enjoy watching her dance, and she distracted me from watching him! The judges all saw some potential there with Bruno saying that she has it all, but doesn't know what to do with it. I guess time will tell. In the meantime, the judges gave them three 6's for a score of 18.

And last but not least, the replacement dancer for Nancy O'Dell. They tried to keep this one undercover, but they did an awful job of it. We got to see Jason from The Bachelor dump this poor girl twice in this show, once instead of practice film. Melissa and her partner Tony had two days to learn and practice this Waltz, good thing she has a dance background. Good job! She's a very pretty dancer, you can see her ballet training. All three judges agreed with Len and Bruno calling Jason a loser. She received two 8's and a 7 for a score of 23

There you have it. A very long evening with lots of dancing and information. No Tuesday show this week, but if you go to the website, they are doing the Design-A-Dance thing again. This week, the vote is for the style of dance. Next week, the stars dance again Monday and have an elimination show on Tuesday. The scores from this week and votes will count toward that elimination. Gilles and Cheryl top the leaderboard this week with Shawn and Melissa close behind. Bringing up the rear is Steve Woz and Ty Murray.

What did you think? Were the scores justified? How did your favorite do and who did you like the most/least this week? Comment below or email me at ladytex@tvfunspot.com