Dancing With the Stars 8: Week 3 and He Gave Up Golf For This

Week three of Dancing With the Stars 8, and we finally have all of the stars participating. Week one doesn't count because of Jewel and Nancy. Tonight's dances are the Samba and the Foxtrot. Who'll bring it and who'll drop the ball? You know, this season for me, is good because I don't see anyone just going through the motions. It seems like all of the contestants from the best to the worst are all working their hind ends off to give us the best show possible. And I appreciate it because this is another long two hour show.

First up tonight are Denise/Maks doin' the Samba. To loosen Denise up, Maks showed up to practice in drag as a Samba Queen. Maks, that's not a good look for ya, honey. Their Samba was just okay for me. I didn't enjoy watching it and it didn't look like she enjoyed doing it. The judges pretty much agreed with me. Len said that the Samba is the hardest of the Latin dances, but theirs needed more of a latin kick and more hip action. Bruno said that it was flat and full of holes. It was a waffle instead of a Samba and it didn't have a party feel. Carrie Ann agreed with Bruno and told Denise to mask her fear and to work on her hands and arms. Scores: Two 5's and a 6 (from Len) for 16/30

Chuck/Julianne had the first Foxtrot of the night. In their confessional, they whined about the judges being too hard on him, that they had higher expectations of him since his girlfriend could dance. Yeah, whatever. But in spite of the music, and the whining, I enjoyed the dance. Chuck did much better this week. But actually that's not saying much, since last week he just posed. Anyway, I did like it. The judges appreciated his effort, too. Bruno said that he was glad to see Chuck in the driver's seat and starting to dance WITH Julianne. Carrie Ann said that this dance showed that Chuck could possibly be a contender and Len said that it was good, but not great yet. Scores: Two 8's and a 7 (from Len) for 23/30

Holly/Dmitry were next with their Samba. I really didn't think this dance was fun to watch. She tries hard, but she looked so awkward. I cringed through most of this dance. Carrie Ann said that this was rough to watch, that it was totally disjointed. Len said that she needed to work on her footwork. He said that she was like a match, hot on the top, wooden on the bottom and Bruno said that her feet weren't going the right way and that her hip action was not correct. Scores: Two 6's and a 5 (from Carrie Ann) for 17/30

Steve-O/Lacey had another rough week. He had to ease back into the dancing because of his back. I worry about him. He said earlier that he was going through addiction recovery while doing this show and I'm sure he's been given meds for his back. He looked like PeeWee Hermann for his Foxtrot. It was a cute dance and I enjoyed it until the end when he fell and hurt his back and ankle. Len clapped for him because he said that he came out and did it, and it had elements of a proper Foxtrot. Bruno said that he was the model of propriety. He started so well and then fell to pieces. Carrie Ann said that she liked that he learned from his mistakes and that she's sorry that he's had such a rough time. Scores: Three 5's for 15/30

LT/Edyta were next up with their Samba. He cracked me up talking about how he gave up golf time for dance ... and he doesn't give up golf for anything. This Samba wasn't technically the best, but it was very fun to watch. LT's got a little rhythm going there, haha. Bruno said that LT was pretty light on his feet for a big guy and has rhythm. He told him not to doubt his ability. Carrie Ann said that they did a good job, that he has a new found confidence and a twinkle in his eye, but she wants him to go for more difficulty next time. Len said that he liked LT's work ethic, but wants more hip action and less shoulder action. Scores: Two 7's and a 6 (from Len) for 20/30

Shawn/Mark did a very beautiful and elegant Foxtrot. Bruno and Carrie Ann both remarked on how it looked like she was just gliding across the floor, similar to an ice skater. Carrie Ann called her a princess, Bruno called her a beautiful bejewelled hummingbird and Len said that it was the best dance so far ... yeah, by a long shot. Scores: Three 9's for 27/30

My new dance honey, Gilles, and his partner, Cheryl did a very hot Samba. His mom came to visit practice and it was so sweet to see. She told him that she wanted more, and he gave it to her. That man can shake his lil booty and hips. Len said that he was a good dancer, he lacked a little rhythm at the beginning, but he made a hard dance look easy. Bruno called him a throbbing, red hot poker ... down boy ... said that the Samba was a party dance and Gilles makes everyone want to party with him. Carrie Ann said that it was excellent and that Gilles brought out something special in Cheryl and he shook things that Carrie Ann didn't know guys could shake. Scores: Three 9's for 27/30

David/Kym did a decent Foxtrot. It started out really good and slowed down for me. Kym said that this week she wanted to showcase David and I think she did a good job. The dance didn't really wow me, but David did a lot of dancing and he did a good job. Had a big Broadway vibe. Bruno said that they took the Foxtrot to Broadway and that it was a big transformation for David. Carrie Ann gave him two snaps and gave props to the choreography and Len said that it was his best dance so far. Scores: Three 8's for 24/30

The Woz/Karina got the Samba. Okay, I'm scared for him. I cannot imagine his body doing this dance. On top of that, he had another trip to the hospital this week and he pulled his hamstring. He was still cringing in pain trying to dance on Sunday. This Samba was just awful, but strangely enjoyable, if that makes any sense. They even threw in something that I think was supposed to be a worm. It was funny watching Bruno cover his face. Carrie Ann said that he was cute and adorable, but at some point the novelty wears off. She called his worm a slug, lol. Len said that the dance was killing him. He hopes that the audience was entertained, because it was bad from start to finish. Bruno just called it the worst Samba that he's ever seen. Backstage, though, they got a standing ovation for his efforts. Scores: Two 3's and a 4 (from Carrie Ann) for 10/30

Melissa/Tony did an old-timey, big band looking, gorgeous Foxtrot. I loved it. Len said that it had great musicality, but said something about working on her ball/heel foot thingy. Bruno called it beautiful to look at and easy to love and Carrie Ann called her an excellent dancer but told her that she needed to challenge herself a little bit ... it was too easy for her. Scores: Three 9's for 27/30 And it seems that LT has to take Melissa golfing since she got at least three 8's.

Lil Kim/Derek had a Samba. They did a good job, but it was missing something to me. The girl can shake her butt, that's for sure. Bruno said that it worked for him. He called her a pocketsized Venus with Supersized sex appeal. The dance was not perfect, but she sold it. Carrie Ann said that it was hot and they went for it. She loved it. Len said that Lil Kim had a bionic booty but asks Derek to put more basic dance moves into their routines. Scores: Two 8's and a 9 (from Bruno) for 25/30

And last, but certainly not least, was Ty/Chelsie and their Foxtrot. It was a very nice and elegant dance. Poor Chelsie slipped and fell near the beginning, but Ty was a pro and didn't miss a beat. He helped her up and they just kept going, and they did a nice job. Carrie Ann called Ty the most improved by miles and said that they looked fantastic. Len said that he was a bit stiff and lacked musicality, but that the routine was fantastic and they had a great recovery. Bruno said that Chelsie was turning into a miracle worker. They had that one mistake, but it was an excellent dance. Scores: Two 8's and a 7 (from Bruno) for 23 That's a good score considering that fall. It was bad, but he handled it well and the male pros made sure to give him props backstage.

So that was it. Another long night watching Dancing With the Stars 8. I think that next week I will record it and begin watching it 45 minutes later. I bet I can catch up with fast forwarding through all the commercials and filler. I couldn't believe that they had a bunch of commercials after every single dance. That was overkill. I did enjoy the dancing though. Top of the leaderboard again were Gilles/Cheryl, Shawn/Mark and Melissa/Tony and poor Woz/Karina are bringing up the rear again. I enjoy watching him dance, but his poor body is falling apart.

Tomorrow night's musical guests are Hall & Oates and Adele and two more couples will have to participate in a Dance-Off. Who do you think those two couples will be? Comment below or drop me a line at ladytex@tvfunspot.com